compound complex

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Posts by compound complex

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  16

  People who actually practice detachment seem to be really annoying to those who don't.

  by Hortensia in

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  2. friends

  juust saying .

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  compound complex

  Don't stab me with a fork till I'm done . . .

  I learned about detachment from attending Al-Anon meetings. No more CoCo a doormat!

  Hi, Hortensia, btw!

  CC
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  6

  Older, Wiser . . . Jaded. . . .

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i try to forget remembrance past, admittedly futile but always worth one more try.

  i hit the sheets and tell myself, "this time it's going to work.

  i will sleep.

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  compound complex

  I'm very happy to be where I am today in real life.

  I love real life!

  Cheers!

  CoCo
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  17

  Dream or Nightmare?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have reached a frontier dreamt about as a child -- the outer reaches of a vast realm under stars.. though an imaginative and inquisitive lad, my forward-looking mind and open heart could never have conjured up this fabulous, this infinite unreality into which i have been catapulted.

  what may appear a distortion of my former reality i tentatively accept as a cosmic tableau that threatens both to fascinate and crush my frail, puny body and spirit.

  i am unable to comprehend what i gaze upon with frightened, delicious terror.. my recent escape from lunaria was of sheer necessity: my people have been overtaken by a scorpion race of alien malefactors whose intent toward us was not one of beneficient intervention but that of conquest.

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  compound complex

  Ah, yes, Myelaine -- a most vehement flame!

  for you and yours.

  CoCo
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  17

  Dream or Nightmare?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have reached a frontier dreamt about as a child -- the outer reaches of a vast realm under stars.. though an imaginative and inquisitive lad, my forward-looking mind and open heart could never have conjured up this fabulous, this infinite unreality into which i have been catapulted.

  what may appear a distortion of my former reality i tentatively accept as a cosmic tableau that threatens both to fascinate and crush my frail, puny body and spirit.

  i am unable to comprehend what i gaze upon with frightened, delicious terror.. my recent escape from lunaria was of sheer necessity: my people have been overtaken by a scorpion race of alien malefactors whose intent toward us was not one of beneficient intervention but that of conquest.

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  compound complex

  I pull away, turn on my heel and make for home. Escaping the glaring eye of the other, I realize, is only temporary. As I walk the last quarter mile toward home, there is my tormentor, staring me squarely in the face from on high. Twenty minutes earlier the dark entity was perched loftily upon a promontory, ensconced in that deadened wood. As I hasten anxiously homeward, I look only at my feet in order to avoid the persistent draw of the sinister landscape ahead on the ridge.
  
  On my porch, I reach with a jerk for my key chain. I fumble as I look about to my right, to my left. Finally . . . latch key poised between thumb and index . . . insert . . . turn the key . . . knob. Ultimate relief, at last, as I enter the cool, dark of my abode. Collapsing upon my threadbare wingback, I try to blot out images that began surfacing in my pounding cranium when I was in its leering presence.

  *************************************************************************

  I have made repeated attempts to move on with my life since your flagrant decision to plague my every thought, my every move. I cannot move forward. A change of venue, that of diet, even new clothes have afforded me but a frivolous and temporary elevation of spirits. Accordingly, as I am thus paralyzed by a most profound sense of anguish, I lie in bed, starring at a black sky, and pine anew for what little contentment life once offered up. A mellow and simple contentment I owned before your decision to inhabit my home, my body, my spirit. Whenever will you cease following me about? You have gripped me by the nape of my neck and refuse to release me. My begging for mercy from a hunter lioness would prove an endeavor far more certain of success. You are a wily mistress, one whose cruel hold is that of iron. Between the mind's stabs at my heart and your refusal to disappear from my view, I am losing that steely mastery of self that has been pounded into my once unquestioning conscience.

  In complete control of all that my eyes now behold, you pull me steadily backward into times past. Times that, I thought, were gone and forgotten. Nearly forgotten but for a brief remembrance triggered, in strange and bitter irony, by that most brief recollection of a fleeting joy. Sorrow forces upon me the certainty of her undeniable existence, her penetrating essence. You are she . . .
  
  You have stolen my present, sabotaged my future, yet you say nothing.
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  6

  Older, Wiser . . . Jaded. . . .

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i try to forget remembrance past, admittedly futile but always worth one more try.

  i hit the sheets and tell myself, "this time it's going to work.

  i will sleep.

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  2. 
  3. 
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  compound complex

  I try to forget remembrance past, admittedly futile but always worth one more try. I hit the sheets and tell myself, "This time it's going to work. I will sleep. I will myself to sleep."

  I awake around 2:00 a.m., soaked to the bone. Still some residual fever from the flu, I guess. Dazed, I struggle in slow motion to free myself from a twisted, sodden sheet, grab my lump of a sweat-stained pillow and set feet to floor. Maybe I'll find a little relief sleeping standing up. Clearly, I'm not thinking clearly.

  Stumbling through the debris of many days' inattention to my studio's general health, I pick my way blearily to the airless open window and pose momentarily at the sash. The yellowed, tattered wisps of some ancient lace curtain hang limp and motionless, framing in a view I've come to hate:

  Me, myself and I reflect back from a conjured mirror of the soul. That green, naive whelp, that inveterate idealist . . .

  My much older, wiser and jaded shell of spent humanity gazes downward through an opened pane of filthy glass.

  I eye with menace my once youthful, scrubbed ruddiness and earnestness. Though dressed in somewhat worn hand-me-down threads, my tattered saintliness won over not a few souls. Little did I then realize that the inherent naturalness of youthful persuasion had been reeled in, unhooked and shoved into the creel of rigid and uncompromising uniformity. Unwittingly, I had been selling my own soul while winning over the souls of trusting men, women and children. From my enlightened vantage point I look back in time, I look down at my beautiful, young manhood. From an imagined darkened pane I see my reflection and despise what I have become. Strangely, a cool sense of tranquility washes over me as I come out of my reverie, my black reminiscence.

  The vision of my youthful ideals embodied in vaporous shadow on the pavement below has evaporated. Gone for the moment but sure to return as an untold want, a want, a wish for explanation why it all went so wrong. Yet, wrong by whose interpretation? I learn to shut it out, shut out the noise in the head called irrational thought, excessive thinking that leads only to depression, if not, eventually, to insanity.

  I pull away from the window, shut it tight against the chilly predawn air, and forget my dark reflection. It's only a phantom, scarcely the real me. A walk in the moonlight will do me good. I will see my inner turmoil in a new light, the softly suffused illumination della bella luna. The black shadow of the walking dead, cast upon the asphalt by the gracious moon, will be my companion.
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  231

  NEWBIES are leaving like crazy! Be very afraid WT

  by clarity in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  # 3 newbie post.

  first of all, the newbies have set a record here!.

  have you ever seen a 4pg post where 21 new members reply!

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  compound complex

  Giordano:

  Thank you and other posters for answering my question!

  CoCo
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  231

  NEWBIES are leaving like crazy! Be very afraid WT

  by clarity in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  # 3 newbie post.

  first of all, the newbies have set a record here!.

  have you ever seen a 4pg post where 21 new members reply!

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  compound complex

  Welcome, NEWBIES!

  Question: Did you find JWN as a result of feeling freer to use the internet, given the Society's online moves?

  Thanks!

  CoCo
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  28

  Have your prescription meds skyrocketed in price?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  mine have, and they're generic.. greetings, friends.. a couple days ago i went to pick up my meds at k-mart (california, usa).

  i had $5.00, the discounted price, in hand.

  the assistant rang me up for $27 and change.

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  compound complex

  Good morning and thank you, Listener, gma, 3rdgen, jam, slimboy, smiddy and nonjw, for posting.

  My dad worked in a drug store as a teenager and said there was a huge mark up then.

  I'm sorry to hear some of you have been affected to an extent greater than I. And "orphan drugs" -- shocking to and frustrating for those in need. Many individuals have been hit, as well as the little indie pharmacies that struggle to stay afloat. I was told to look into AARP coverage, which my pharmacy takes.

  Thanks again for contributing.

  CoCo
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  28

  Have your prescription meds skyrocketed in price?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  mine have, and they're generic.. greetings, friends.. a couple days ago i went to pick up my meds at k-mart (california, usa).

  i had $5.00, the discounted price, in hand.

  the assistant rang me up for $27 and change.

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  compound complex

  I appreciate your comments and suggestions, rip, tenyears, yan, jgnat, gma, ber, Hortensia and Scully.

  I don't have answers yet to some of the questions you've asked.

  I have a discount at two pharmacies, but that didn't prevent the hit I took at K-Mart. One of our major chains went under due to the problem I referred to, i.e., the insurance companies paying below cost. My little, local pharmacy is convenient -- no waiting in line, 5 minutes from home and no need to travel far in winter (snow country).

  I didn't know about what it is you are able to do, Hortensia.

  Cost-relief would be a good thing now, Scully!

  With gratitude,

  CoCo
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  28

  Have your prescription meds skyrocketed in price?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  mine have, and they're generic.. greetings, friends.. a couple days ago i went to pick up my meds at k-mart (california, usa).

  i had $5.00, the discounted price, in hand.

  the assistant rang me up for $27 and change.

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  2. 
  3. 
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  compound complex

  Hey, zeb . . .

  I almost moved to the Gold Coast; instead, I settled for the Gold Country!

  Gratefully,

  CC